Everything you need for a Dallas night

Epic US oil-baron soap Dallas is returning to our screens tonight, with the first of a ten-part series at 9pm on Channel five. (Thanks to positive reviews stateside, they’ve already commissioned a second series.)

Ah, yes: the shoulder pads. The money. The cliffhangers. The question of who shot JR. The fact the entire ninth season was revealed to have just been a dream by one of the characters. (Which some might say is a bit of a cop-out. Imagine tuning in to Eastenders to be told all the storylines from 1986 onward were dreamt up by a gin-soaked Dot Cotton. And that in fact everyone is now getting along rather nicely, with no need to square up to each other, drown their sorrows in the Vic, or break the law. Or mention “family” every five minutes.)

So Ewing again

If you don’t remember Dallas the first time round, you can refresh your memory by picking up the complete first run of Dallas from Zavvi. Then don your Dallas boots and cowboy hat, put on your shoulder pads, invite a few friends round and settle down to what promises to be the televisual event of the decade. If not the century!

According to the blurb on Channel Five’s website:

“It’s been two decades since viewers saw the Ewing family, and everyone is gathering at Southfork Ranch for the upcoming wedding of Bobby’s adopted son, Christopher, to Rebecca Sutter. Although the occasion is joyous, an old family rivalry erupts in the younger generation when secret oil drilling on Southfork results in a major gusher. As the fight over oil and land threatens to tear the Ewings apart once again, everyone has his or her own agenda.”

Oil be back

Oo-er. To get your Dallas party in full swing, I’ve put together this Dallas-themed cocktail for you to enjoy – the Dallas shooter. Just layer equal measures of Black Sambuca, Baileys and Goldschlager. Then throw it in someone’s face in a dramatic way.

If such oil-based revelry is not your thing, you can always drink someone else’s milkshake. (If you didn’t get the reference, buy the film I just linked to. It’s only two and half hours of your life.)

In the words of JR: “Blood may be thicker than water, but oil is thicker than both.”

“I Shot JR” t-shirt available from Amazon.