Thousands of parents up and down the country are currently preparing to send their children off to university. Kettles and cutlery are flying off the shelves. Duvets and desk lamps are out of stock everywhere. But if you want to send your young scholar off with something that raises a smile as well as being practical, we’ve put together a list for you. All of these Amazon products have less-than-serious product reviews, and have become classic examples of “must-have” naff gifts for the internet shopper. Even better, when you buy through Give as you Live you raise money for charity at no extra cost to you.
The Three Wolf Moon t-shirt is an instant classic. Buy this for a beloved nephew or grandchild as they take their first steps away from the nest, and they will thank you for life.
In the words of one reviewer: “This fetching t-shirt is unquestionably a must-have. Within seconds of the majestic three wolves hitting my corneas, I felt myself infused with an uncanny energy… I immediately felt at least 20% hairier and manlier, simply from looking at the shirt, and was grateful I hadn’t shaved earlier…”
£11.49 – raises 40p for charity
There might be many more suitable books on the market, but none manage to conjure up the 70s wonderment of owning a microwave more than this classic collection.
“Because of this book, I now eat like a King. Filet Mignon? Chicken Alfredo? Caviar? It’s all in there. Not only do you never need to buy another cookbook, there will never be a book so beautifully written ever again. From that point, I have divided my life into two different categories: life before Microwave Cooking for One, and life after.”
£16.15 – raises 57p for charity
3. Yodelling pickle
Owning a yodelling pickle will make your offspring the envy of their friends.
“I loaned my iPod to my son and he broke it. This understandably upset me, since I really enjoy taking long walks on the beach whilst listening to some tunes. I’m rather low on funds, so buying a replacement iPod wasn’t an option for me. I was very fortunate to discover the Yodelling Pickle. I have been super-pleased with the results.”
£5.25 – raises 18p for charity
4. Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen
You study at university – and to study, you need pens. Go for the no-frills option with Bic’s ballpoints. The product itself might not raise a smile, but the reviews should:
“While this pen is functional and easy to use, a downside is it only supports one default font (that appears to be user-specific?) – I have tried multiple times to access Helvetica, Times New Roman, Impact etc., to no avail… I don’t even see any input buttons. The default font is pretty shoddy-looking, resembling Comic Sans.”
£0.99 – raises 3.5p for charity
5. Box canvas print of Paul Ross
Ditch the posters of Che Guevara, Chat Noir and The Beatles. The best art to be found hanging on that dormitory wall is this iconic print of Paul Ross – sure to bring a smile to anyone’s face. Says one proud owner:
“There was something wonderful and majestic about it: some people say the enigmatic smile is a knowing reference to his Merovingian ancestry. It hung for three years above the alabaster fireplace in my drawing room, replacing Munch’s Scream, which I borrowed from a friend who was also in the insurance business…”
£100 – raises £3.50 for charity
You can also get a mug done.
6. Aluminium foil
I have been told there are only two things you need to know how to cook in life: a full English breakfast and a Sunday roast. Of course, this is a lie. Still, teach them the basics before packing them off, and ensure they’ve got a roasting tin and good amount of tin foil to take with them.
“There have been many memorable foils through the ages. For every Hamlet, a Laertes. For every Holmes, a Watson. And now, for every kitchen, 18″ Aluminium Foil from Sussex Supplies. That such shining examples of a well-crafted foil should be made dull by comparison with this breath-taking product is a testament to the brilliance of the manufacturer.”
£19.10 – raises 67p for charity
7. The Very Best of David Hasselhoff
Another “awful must-buy” classic, this album is truly resplendent in its own naffness. Your kids won’t know what hit them. Probably not the best music to revise to… or to listen to under any circumstance, in fact.
“I can’t stress enough, that this album should be listened to in order, in a dark room, with full concentration and dedication given. It is the only way you will get the best out of it… with this offering Hasselhoff takes us on a veritable rollercoaster ride of emotion and experience.”
£10.28 – raises 36p for charity
Are there any obvious choices we’ve left off the list? Please let us know below.